strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
