So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
