I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize