I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i think my cat just said my name.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize