My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
