I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
