I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
