So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
