you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
