he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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