sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
