Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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