Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
