U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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