Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
there's paper in my vomit.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
