I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
