Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
FUCK WHALES
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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