She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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