I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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