Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I love having hate sex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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