the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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