just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
