Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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