someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
