The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
