Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
