She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
