you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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