Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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