Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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