Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
