lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
