okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Randomize
