I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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