I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would ride that face into the sunset
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
