She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I don't deserve a penis
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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