This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
