Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize