It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
