you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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