dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
