I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
