Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
