2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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