I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
