drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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