i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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