don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
