Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
