The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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