I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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