Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
