The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
