its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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