No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize