Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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