My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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