Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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