Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
