everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
