So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
